


Black Snow

by floatingearth



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, Grief, No Dialogue, Pre Canon, Responsibilities, Senses of Duty, pessimism, worrying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingearth/pseuds/floatingearth
Summary: When he's nine, the Fire Nation comes, and they take away his mother. When he's thirteen, duty calls, and his father heads to the front. When he's fifteen, the Fire Nation comes back.
Relationships: Sokka and his issues
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Black Snow

**Author's Note:**

> I made a tumblr. I am floatingearth there as well. Take a visit if you like this fic

I.  
It isn’t the first attack on the Southern Water Tribe. Not by a long shot. But it’s the first raid Sokka ever knows. 

He doesn’t understand what’s happening at first. The last time their village saw Fire Nation soldiers was years ago, before Sokka was even born. The men know what’s coming instantly. Sokka doesn’t. When he looks up, and the snow is falling in shades of black and gray, all he knows is that this is just freaky. He and Katara share a look. She runs off to find their mother, and he stands, feeling lost, in the snow. 

He could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Something is about to happen. He can feel it in his bones. As it turns out, he’s right. Someone sounds a war horn. His father readies the men. The Fire Nation is on their shores, and everything happens so quickly after that. 

Sure, he’s young, but he’s not a coward. This is his village too! He can defend it just as much as anyone else. So he does his best to do his part. Sokka runs across the snow, darting left and right through to the heart of the fighting. He packs icy snowballs and lobs them at firebender’s heads, throws a boomerang into a throng of soldiers. He smirks when it makes contact. Good old boomerang. 

The Fire Nation is gone by the afternoon. So is his mother. That’s when everything starts falling apart. 

All he can think about for weeks, during silent dinners that used to be full of stories and laughter, is that he made the wrong choice. He could have done something differently, and maybe Kya would still be alive. 

Later, the rational part of his brain will tell him he could have done exactly nothing.

For now, though, his mind races. Maybe he should have ran towards home. Snuck up on that evil old man before he could get inside, and trip him. Or clock him in the head with his boomerang. Or maybe, he should have prepared even earlier. He could have booby-trapped the whole house, so that no Fire Nation soldier would stand a chance of getting inside. 

But he didn’t, and he hadn’t, and now the house felt so empty without his mother. Life was off balance and backwards. Sleep used to come so easily after long days of chores and practice and playing in the snow. Now he tossed and turned for hours. Meals that used to be full of laughter and stories, became silent and dull. He could barely taste the food. 

It could happen again, he realized with a start. The soldiers could come for him, or Katara. Or Dad or Gran Gran. Or they could raze the whole village to the ground. 

Next time, he’d be ready.

II.  
Hakoda is leaving. 

So is every other man Sokka has ever met, and many more that he hasn’t. A fleet is sailing north, to fight with the Earth Kingdom. And he gets it. He knows there’s a war, and that the men of his tribe have no choice but to leave. He knows it’s important, that it’s necessary, that they have a duty to fight in it. Really, he understands.

None of that makes it hurt any less. His dad is leaving, and nobody knows when he’ll ever see him again. 

So he begs to join the fleet. Hakoda won’t budge. He explains it, in that gentle way of his, and he hugs him tight before he turns to his ship, but he still turns for the ship. Still leaves him behind. Everything he said makes sense. It’s impossible to argue, because the smart part of his brain knows it’s true. The part of Sokka’s brain that doesn’t shut off is convinced otherwise. He can’t shake the feeling that there’s another reason he’s at home, alone, except for the little children and their mothers. A useless burden, that’s what he is. 

Maybe it’s all in his head, he tells himself, but maybe it isn’t. He stares at those ships until they’re little dots on the horizon, slipping into the fog. Then he stares at nothing. Finally, he can’t take it anymore. He kicks the dirt, and storms away, back towards the village, hiding his face in embarrassment. 

When he’s scrubbing off the face paint that night, it hits him, sudden as a punch to the stomach. He’s the only one left. The last line of defense this village has. His brain is always running too fast, making up all sorts of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios for him to plan around. Now, it’s up to him to make sure none of those happen. 

If he messes up, they’re done for. That’s it. Especially his sister. He can't let anything happen to her. He can't let anything happen to anyone, but especially not her. Not his baby sister. So he plans and he plans and he plans, thinks things through until they’re water tight. 

And he trains with the kids. 

It’s a sad mockery of a real army, a real band of warriors. He looks ridiculous and he knows it, and so does everyone else, when they laugh at him. But what choice does he have? Hakoda has a duty to fight on the front. Katara has a duty to splash her magic water in his face during a blizzard, apparently. And Sokka has a duty to protect this village, to keep everybody safe and alive. 

So he builds a watchtower. He gives clubs and knives to children. He tells them everything he knows. The truth is, he doesn’t know a lot. He repeats what Hakoda told him, and some things he’s heard from Bato, and the other men he knew. Some things, he’s learned himself. Everything else, he makes up. 

Mostly, he makes things up.

III.  
Nobody ever listens to him! Some kid comes out of an iceberg, shoots a bunch of light into the sky, and he’s the bad guy for thinking maybe, just maybe, the stranger is a spy? Then, the kid goes and sets off a Fire Navy flare, as if the first, blinding beacon wasn’t enough. Nope, he’s got to make extra sure that the navy sees it.

If everyone had just listened to him at first, they wouldn’t be in this mess. But they hadn’t. Now, the Fire Navy was on its way. The battle was imminent. Just him, against a ship full of firebenders. Yeah, he could totally take them. 

Okay, nope. They were toast. Literally.

He mixed the war paint with his fingers, a bowl of white, a bowl of gray, a bowl of black. He swiped it on, in the familiar pattern of the wolf, and stood ready by the edge of the village. It was perfectly still, and so silent it was unnatural. The tension in the air was almost impossible to take. 

This was his chance to prove himself. He had to win. If he didn’t drive the Fire Nation away- well. Bad things would happen. 

He doesn’t win. The only thing that gets hurt is his pride, though, and Sokka supposes he can live with that long enough to help his sister rescue the Avatar. Who still exists, apparently, and who has a bison that actually flies, because today, the Universe feels like completely destroying his whole worldview. They catch up with Aang, and life is never the same again.

**Author's Note:**

> \- I stan Sokka hard, but he hasn't met Suki yet so he's still the guy who says things like "Leave it to a girl to mess things up" and thinks women are only good for domestic tasks. He has such mixed feelings about the men leaving. Part of that is because he thinks he's being treated like a defenseless kid. Part of it is because he really loves his Dad and is going to miss him and doesn't want to be alone. Part of it is the terrifying pressure of being the only "man" and feeling like it's up to him to keep the village safe. 
> 
> \- I feel like people miss the fact that Sokka also lost his mother. Her loss affects him and Katara in different ways, so understandable, but still. 
> 
> \- Also I think the scene where Zuko's ship shows up is one of the most suspenseful scenes of season one


End file.
